Keith Higginbotham
My Roman Throat
mortar horses ocean surround
or taped
the textbooks washed
removable houses
of the needy
the piss of the insides
warped sea windows
cake night
in the crashing sky
Polaroid
let’s trade bodies
                              gap-toothed
places singing against traffic
quiet skins morning the hero
                              they their there
let my burden be thrown
the way of the bricks
let’s trade bodegas
in the firebox of bystander
                              trees
beyond the yours two too
Father of Bologna
toast of the shower
hair all smart
and snowy
the in-line
saint the sun in glass
               in smoke
the phone feathers
the widget rose
               ice in the face
more wind than wind
the automatic night
of the pine
Swimming Pools, Movie Stars
1.
In the pilot, Eb goes on a three-hour tour
with a pig, they get beached
in a storm, and find themselves
on the front porch
of a mansion where millionaire
hicks live with a Bloodhound.
2.
Jane Hathaway and Oliver Wendell Douglass
construct a raft with the help of Aunt
Clara to escape Beverly Hills.
3.
The Professor figures out how to make
the pig a millionaire. Elly Mae
starts wearing dresses which are very
uncomfortable, and is offended when Darren
Stevens refers to her a a “city girl.”
4.
Mary Ann falls and hits her head
and thinks she is Ginger, and then Ginger
falls on her head and thinks she is
Samantha and then Samantha falls
on her head and thinks she is Mr. Ziffell
who in turn falls on his head and thinks
he is the pig, who is now a millionaire.
5.
Lisa Douglass is at the stove
cooking hotcakes, when Granny comes in and
refers to the hotcakes as “flapjacks,” which
insults Lisa so deeply that she faints, hits
her head, and thinks she is a movie star
stranded on an island with a bunch of idiots.
6.
Jim Backus, who plays Mr. Drysdale’s
boss, is shocked to learn that he also
plays a millionaire on a desert island
and lives in a grass hut
with his spoiled wife, who also appears
as a spoiled perfume heiress
whose factory was designed
by Mike Brady.
7.
The Skipper is convinced he is doomed
after he accidentally disturbs
the resting place of a vengeful
Tiki god, which was also found by Bobby
Brady in Hawaii, right before Jethro’s
surfing accident.
8.
Everybody wants a piece of Gilligan
and his newfound riches after he wins a three
million dollar bet with Mr. Drysdale’s
boss, and a Japanese soldier arrives
in Hooterville, upsetting the balance
when he reveals that World War II
is not over.
9.
In the post-series
made-for-TV movie, the Harlem
Globetrotters play a charity basketball game
against the Washington Generals
in Mr. Douglass’ barn. Uncle Arthur,
Uncle Joe, and Uncle
Ben are the referees. The Generals
lose again and again
and again.
Keith Higginbotham is the author of the poetry collections
Calibration (Argotist Ebooks),
Theme From Next Date (Ten Pages Press),
Prosaic Suburban Commercial (E·ratio Editions), and
Carrying the Air on a Stick (The Runaway Spoon Press). His writing and art have appeared in numerous print and online journals. He lives in South Carolina and posts his (mostly collage) art at
keithhigginbotham.tumblr.com and on Instagram (@jkeith2f).
previous page     contents     next page